Tarot Tuesday: XIII Death, Reversed

Affirm your life, today! Defy Death. It comes too soon, it takes everything we love and turns it back into Earth. But not today, for us. Air fills and leaves our lungs in the miracle of every one of our millions of cells receiving oxygen!

We have forever sought power over death. Imagine, an eternity with a perfectly preserved body. Never aging, never weakening, never getting sick, you would be free to live however many lifetimes. Have you read the Vonnegut story where, for someone new to be born, someone else has to volunteer to die? Death, Reversed, like the story, evokes how absurd it would be to wish for our own immortality. Our love of babies would become  counterproductive, just for starts. The Last Age, the last year, have to pass for us to embrace the new! 

Yet, today’s consumer culture is obsessed with youth. On this day, as the card specifies, the globe shall be especially confronted with everything that must pass away about our lives as a matter of course. Aging is becoming a lost art, but that new anti-aging cream wouldn’t sell as many bottles if we could just accept our age as a sign of beauty and maybe do some facial yoga.

This is the new thing. Your life, moment to moment. Someday, the Reaper will come for each of us, for you, for me. Will we run in fear? Or will we reunite with our cosmic family in joy and love and peace? Ironically, as long as there is a search to overcome death, we will be through our focus, denying the reality of the transient moment. Time, you old vagabond on a one-way train.

Today could very well be a day for contemplating what we’ve released. We can transmute any emotional heaviness into transcendence.

Without change, we would never heal. We would carry the wounds we receive with no hope for relief. Without death, we would have no relief from the burden of existence. We really have no reason to fear Death, whether our world view focuses on a kind and benevolent Savior or Deity that ensures our place in an enjoyable afterlife, or our world view focuses on the belief that we simply rejoin with All That Is. We have no reason to fear Death, as it is a natural process, and doesn’t everybody love a good rest?

Death, Reversed, also reminds us, we never know our time.

Dance with the flow. Love this moment as if it were the last.

General Meanings:
Irrevocable ends and transformations. Not often an indicator of physical death. When reversed, indicates fear of change, clinging to outmoded patterns, state of being in resistance to Life. Need to embrace Death as part of Life, need to bow to Ultimate Fate.

Does this card resonate with you, especially at the time of reading this? Check out my offerings, book a reading with me. faye.frances@gmail.com. Namaste.

2014: The Year Ahead

Many seers reserve the Twelve Days of Christmas for Auguring the coming year, according to an ancient tradition. The overall trend of 2014 indicates breakdowns in outmoded transportation, political and financial systems, and breakthroughs in homemade technologies and the cottage economy. More people claim independence and personal power, setting global transformations in motion.

We begin the year with Pluto retrograde (soul-level reform) and Venus retrograde (revaluing our attachments to people and things) which explain a lot about the cards that show up in the first half of the year. Almost all the upright cards indicate feminine or transformative energies, spirituality, and creativity and almost all reversed cards indicate masculine growth energies, communication, and travel.

2014 ushers more striving for balance between masculine and feminine energies and the demise of fully patriarchal modes of being. Focus draws more to homemade goods as a means of survival when mass production and transportation fails.

January.
6 of Wands, Reversed.
Our actions show up in the spotlight, this month. Crowds target those in power for unethical actions. You may feel like shunning or shaming those who do not live up to your standards. Remember that you get what you give, and transform that energy by engaging in service. For every negative thought you have about someone, try to think three kind thoughts. This is not just for their benefit but for yours, too! Be humble about how others live up to your standards, and be compassionate with yourself in case of not living up to others’ standards for you. This is an opportunity to bring your actions into focus and fully see the affect you have on the world around you.

In the northern hemisphere, bring the energy of summer into the midst of winter by hanging sun disks  or drawing pictures of the sun. Simmer citrus peels on your stove, and celebrate the longer days to drive away the blues. Folks in the southern hemisphere might experience record highs or drought, so examine your water conservation practices.

Globally, the public call for establishment of global equal rights gets louder and stronger. Grassroots movements unite, furthering the great shifts in the status quo.

February.
7 of Wands, Reversed.
February highlights our effortsWhat do you strive for in your life? These are your values. What are you most likely to fight against others to defend? These are your vulnerable points. If we deny our vulnerability, we risk injury. When we admit our weak spots we take a step toward nurturing and healing whatever wounds or scars we carry. February marks a time of assessment in any conflicts we have: with ideologies, groups of people, and other individuals. This month brings opportunity to clear any anger. Hold your anger “like a screaming baby” (Thich Nhat Hanh) and use compassion to calm the anger. Listen to your anger to pinpoint your values. If you greet your life with relative peace, consider teaching those around you. Try not to be dismissive of this anger. You are entitled to your feelings, and anger rises up for a reason. Use it as fuel to direct your actions.

Globally, the conflict between the people and the establishment builds. It is an important time to pray and meditate for peace.

March.
Knight of Pentacles, Reversed.
Mindfulness and meditation is called for in attentiveness to our ways of being. March is a good time to change up your career path and try something new, in small steps. This card reflects the shift of our economy toward earning income through practical activities that people love to do for the benefit of all. Perhaps experiment with sprouting seeds or take a gardening class, if you like plants. Consider building your own chicken coop if animals bring you joy and you like to eat eggs. Do you build or make things? Find something your neighbors or friends could use, and start making that. Give gifts of your skills at first and people will begin to offer you money for them.

Globally, we will experience change in how goods are made, especially houses and clothing, specifically when there is a decline in quality. Inadequacies and shortages of material goods are exposed. People with groundbreaking ideas bring forward solutions to our distribution problems.

April.
5 of Swords.
This is another card about vulnerabilities. Our words and thoughts get sharp when we feel threatened or wounded and suspicious of others’ intent. Mars retrograde in Libra (March 1) clashes with Mercury in Aries (April 7), stirring turmoil in our partnerships and blurring the line between friend and enemy. The swords is a suit of change in mentality. 5 brings chaos, working at cross purposes with others, and last minute efforts to complete a project. Things that didn’t seem urgent in March will suddenly take on epic importance. Incidentally this card coincides with the tax file deadline.

Globally, we could see escalation of the world’s elite powers suppressing smaller powers in March. Even though the power elite are outnumbered, we will see them flex their muscle and try to look bigger. A financial crisis is possible, in regards to the paper money currency. Build security in March with skills and trade to insulate yourself from the upheaval.

May.
King of Swords, Reversed.
In May, leadership roles shuffle about and no one really knows who is in charge. The truth is, we are all in charge. May is an important time to take personal responsibility for the state of our lives. Venus enters Aries May 2 and Mars goes direct in Libra May 19, so star-crossed love affairs are likely this month due to King of Swords reversed interrupting our usual inhibitions. Weak relationships are likely to end, and people in strong relationships may map out new power dynamics to keep things balanced. In May we see extremes in competition with people at the very top or very bottom and few in the middle. This card heralds a decentralization of power as the global elite continues to lose respect and people lose faith in the banking system. We will see community-based currencies more in May. City leadership will resist the Trans Pacific Pact in many countries but especially the eastern hemisphere. Tension builds between east and west and communications are unclear in part because Mercury enters Gemini on May 7, highlighting double meanings and dual intentions.

Globally, grass roots groups and circular governance will thrive while people governing large power structures will become confused. We could see outrageous laws proposed in attempts to protect those in power, or some kind of government shut down of a major world power.

June.
Page of Cups, Reversed.
The Page of Cups, Reversed, highlights Neptune Retrograde in Pisces starting June 9. Both the card and the astrological event draw attention to the ways in which we try to escape everyday consciousness, and why. Emotional tides run high and we are especially sensitive to anything toxic in our lives. With the tensions and transformations building in the first half of the year, we feel drawn to creativity, dreaming, and altered states of consciousness to express and process everything 2014 has brought so far. Steer clear of addictive substances and toxic chemicals, especially in June. Seek out spiritual wisdom to help you stay connected with your community and grounded to the Earth. Walking barefoot will also help you stay grounded. In the Southern Hemisphere where June means winter, elevated precipitation is likely. For the Northern Hemisphere this could mean flooding.

Global consciousness shifts to cleaning up our waters, in remembrance of Fukushima and the Gulf oil spill disasters. Tsunamis, tidal waves, hurricanes are momentous at this time. The western hemisphere is most affected.

July.
Queen of Cups.
On July 18 Venus joins Sol and Luna in Cancer, further highlighting our feelings and bringing Neptune retrograde energies into our waking consciousness. Women who seem mysterious, withdrawn, and intuitive become more interesting to us at this time, because we are collectively seeking clarity in our own subconscious. Female leadership arises to smooth over the confused communications that boiled up in April and May. Our relationship with our own femininity and sensitivity becomes prominent. Conflicts smooth over and we can find inner peace more readily than in previous months.

Global awareness of female spiritual leaders highlights conflict resolution. People turn to the Divine Mother archetype for comfort and inspiration. We may see a spike in feminist spirituality and hear from united groups of mothers for positive change in the world.

August.
Ace of Cups.
August marks global and individual spiritual awakening. After the turmoil of 2014’s first half, rediscovering the peacefulness conveyed by our mothers’ care leads to a new realization on the soul level. Like a mother forsaking physical pleasures to enjoy spending time with her child, we begin to refocus on what is truly important in our lives. The ideological upheaval of early 2014 has hopefully drawn us into detaching from luxuries and savoring the simple pleasures of life at an easier pace. This is the difference between eating a fast food milk shake (industrial luxury) and wild honey drizzled over homemade yogurt (homemade simplicity). The first might be less work for the consumer, but overall the second means less energy expended for the final project on a global scale. This card indicates a spiritual “level-up,” where we all have the benefit of being more in tune with Divine Order in a very comfortable way. Joy and transcendental love fuel our desire to see goals through to completion. We can rededicate ourselves to our resolutions, now, with renewed hope and pleasure in life.

Globally, joy and good will fuel humanitarian efforts and movement toward spiritual unity accelerates.

September.
XIII, Death.
The spontaneous Joy and Love that infused our lives in August makes way for a sweeping transformation of our outer world. Incidentally, Pluto (Death card) goes direct in Capricorn on September 22, bringing outward all the internal transformation goings-on since his retrograde in April 2013. If your resolution was to lose or cease something, the finality of your choice and commitment becomes apparent in September. If these resolutions have failed, you may see a long term shift in your core being and your life because of your inability to live up to your own promises. Revisit your intent for 2014 and see if you can figure out what did not work so that you can begin correct undesirable patterns. Broken contracts from April and May will reach closure in September. Career changes begun in March will finalize at this time. Look for bankruptcy or mass layoffs.

Globally, we experience collective awareness of our need to release the old ways of life and a collective release of this energy for once and all time.

October.
10 of Pentacles.
All 10’s show completion, and the 10 of Pentacles means fulfillment of wealth, traditions, and legacies. Inheritances are prominent at this time, whether through last bequests or our matured awareness of what we carry of our family’s line. Again home-produced goods show up, here, contributing to your level of happiness with your surroundings. How much you personally invest in the goods that your household consumes will directly impact your happiness this year. Home and family life reach levels of insurmountable pleasure. Troubles and woes can be conquered by connecting to your individual sense of family, whether by birth or community.

This card conveys the sense that all of humanity becomes especially aware of our global family and the interconnected nature of our physical reality.

November.
XX, Judgement, Reversed.
The energies we felt in January with the 6 of Wands, Reversed, resurface in a significantly more intense form. We get to collectively view how our judgments shape our experience of the world. This is the card of instant karma and instantaneous manifestation, so thinking or talking about something will nearly instantly draw a physical or external form of that thing into your awareness. You cannot forgive on behalf of another person, but you have ultimate power to invoke forgiveness on your own part. We learn to rule our lives and not be ruled by our circumstances. There is likely to be some kind of hi-jinx in the Representative and Senate elections in the United States, or people suddenly and en masse decide that we’ve had enough of voting against our own self interest.

Globally, we realize the full impact of our choices in a culmination of the process begun in January.

December.
VII, The Chariot, Reversed.

It is unlikely that we will end 2014 in the place that we expected to. Plans become interrupted especially in December, stalling travel. So, reading this now, make your plans for the year fluid, flexible, and as low-stress as possible. Spend the year in preparation, because December brings increased risk for faulty will power and totally unexpected accidents. Build your strength of character because by this month any behavior that still requires your willpower will fall along the wayside.  The Chariot card is ruled by the sign Cancer, which is ruled by the Moon. The remedy to the loss of control could lie in the New Moon in Capricorn on the Winter Solstice, December 21. This resets our concept of career, presenting a stark difference in what we thought our success would look like in comparison with what our success truly looks like.

Thanks for reading this 2014 forecast. I’m interested in hearing how your readings interact with this one. Feel free to comment with any questions or thoughts, as always. Namaste.

The Point: the Tarot in Energy Healing

Migraine headache: the pain splits my head open in all directions, crossing my brow, shooting down my neck and up through my third eye chakra. I check facebook to see what my loved ones are up to, and try to hold on to conscious thought. I watch a very weird 1971 animated flick called The Point (lots of occult imagery, suggestive scenes, age appropriate for grown-up kids?) while I down a pot and a half of what I call “Head Wellness Tea” (tonight’s formula is skullcap, blue vervain, passion flower) and anoint my pressure points with peppermint oil in attempts to maintain. In this state I am amazed my inner processor is running. At this point, I have a peppermint-oil splotch on my right knee. I must have needed a soak. I’ve come back to clean this up.

So, I do what I sometimes do when I really don’t know what to do. I know the outcome of lying down. The pain continues to pierce unabating, until I haven’t had enough sleep and I’m running late for work again. I pick up the deck that happens to be sitting next to my computer, shuffle the cards, and cut the deck three times. Maiden, Mother, Crone; Past, Present, Future; Center, Above, Below. Lady, Lord, Divine Child. I ask in my heart space, “What can I do to alleviate my headache?”

I flip over the 3 of Cups, Reversed.

In The Point, the protagonist, Oblio, meets three joyful dancing and singing ladies. The scene acutely reminded me of the 3 of Cups. I fantasized briefly of a themed Tarot deck (if the show isn’t too obscure, but maybe that is the point…). The joyful dancing and singing ladies seem to be made of balloons. All their parts are incredibly and noticeably round. In the scene, they draw Oblio into their joy and laughter and once his mood is lifted they bounce gleefully away. Drawing this card in the moment of this head splitting pain feels like something has come along to turn those ladies flat on their faces. This card is a call to examine relationships and refrain from empty connections. Physically, it can represent one hell of a hangover.

I thought that aspect didn’t apply to me, at first, but on further consideration I realized: I had a swallow of berry liqueur as I was cleaning a friend’s kitchen, to see if it was still good. I poured more than I needed to taste it (maybe a 1/3 ounce), took a bit, but rather than pour the rest out, I finished it. It was made with some pretty foul vodka. I didn’t even feel its effects, but I have had a raging headache since about 4 pm. I would have taken the liqueur at about 12:30 pm.

Fortunately, my biology is ensuring I will never be an alcoholic.

So, I redirect my question: “What is the root cause of this pain?”

The answer comes: XIII, Death, Reversed.

“Take Pains. Be Perfect.”

This past lunar eclipse has been like walking through a shadow. Reading The Stand by Stephen King (thanks, Mr. King) actually helped. A lot. A friend accused me of slipping into depression, but I was not afraid, rebutted the accusations, and spent time with myself, finishing the gazillion page book in 3 days, then processing gallons and pounds of food for the winter. Today, I helped another friend by cleaning a kitchen. I hope to make it back to do the job more thoroughly, this week. The circuit of giving continues. To be honest, I have confronted some crazy cycles, culminating with the peak of this lunation on Friday. Luckily, my daughter was with me. I get so much comfort from nurturing her, I’m glad I can keep this experience for when she’s older. Friday and Saturday, she and I just hung out together. No computer, just making food, eating together, playing pretend games, reading books, all that fun stuff. Sunday was our outing day. We went to the Unitarian Universalist service, where my daughter’s best friend attends, too (she hugged the girl upon sight, since the friend had been travelling the past month). We went food shopping. We visited some other friends who are going out of town, a group that happens to include another little girl who is a good friend with my daughter. We visited yet other friends who keep some goats and a few chickens and are kind enough to share. We then went on a hike with yet other people we know, and dogs, to boot, and my daughter got too confident on a rock wall and fell and twisted her wrist and her foot. I carried her a ways off, we rested on a couple of landscaping rocks for a while, and we chatted about the flamingos in the lawn of the house, for sale and vacant, that was so kind as to have rocks for us to sit on. She walked the rest of the way to the car, we picked up provisions, and headed out to the hills.

Out in a straw bail house with cedar paneling, down the road from a certain dam, my daughter hung upside down, backs of her knees on my shoulders, back to back, her ankles in my grip, as I spun around, dodging friends who nipped at her with their fingers, laughter ringing all around. When my daughter was done, I put her down, stopped, and blurted about how it re-enacted another dream I had dreamed, at the last October full moon. The dream had been terrifying, the play terrifically joyful. The dream was the portent against my return to Utah. The experience of my friends tickling my daughter on my back reinforced the feeling of rightness to be here, to be filling in the Faye-shaped place in others’ lives. Shortly after that dream, events brought me to meeting pretty literally the man of my dreams. Even though I feel right to be up here in Utah, I would give anything else but that feeling to be physically present every day with a certain someone. Where I live is up to where my daughter can live, and thanks to mutually poor communication skills in the relationship between my daughter’s father and me (and other circumstances I will not share in a public venue), plus Utah’s particular legal system, I have yet to win a pattern of taking our daughter out of the valley for the coldest months of winter to return in early March. Post Christmas, until her birthday. Worst of the winter months. Easier on everyone, right?

This morning: daughter snoring, sunshine, cold house, wool blankets, box elder bugs, gluten free pancakes, maple syrup. A guy with dogs chatted with our host, then a carpenter showed up to build a storage bench. I stayed after the host left to tidy up the kitchen. So there it is. A miniscule dose of cheap vodka and loud carpentry work, then, my downfall. I even downed a quart of water before we left for home.

Death. Passage of a matter in terms of an age, an eon, a state of being, a relationship, a phase of life. Reversed, indicates clinging onto the past, resistance to death, feeling overwhelmed, confronting secrets about sex.

The Stand explores an experience of the stillness of a death widespread and gloomy. Solitude. A year ago this month, Hazel and I embarked on a journey through the wilderness. We stayed in Moab and Gallup on our way to Las Cruces, New Mexico. The plan was a couple of weeks, the result was four beautiful crazy months. We had no close calls on the way there, it was like God’s Hand pointed our way and Guardian Angels lit the exit ramps. Once I got turned around just long enough to take an old vet to his home on reservation lands (Navajo) just as night was falling. I drove carefully, a bit spooked by lore I’ve heard from people with firsthand experience, but a child waved at our car on the way out and I knew we were safe. Our friends spotted us a hotel room in Gallup, and the wheel turned.

I feel like in some ways I’ve been resisting the turning of the wheel, ever since coming back. These moments are so precious, and I want so much that I can’t hold all at once, I’m battling the fear of losing it, all over again. 

The pain comes out through my nose, like worms in my brain. It pounds hammers on the inside of my forehead like impish dwarven miners. I think through the pain, I think with the pain, and maybe none of this will make sense.

In a short answer, the key to my headaches, is: Avoid listening to others over myself, drink more water, and don’t drink ANY hard liquor. Not even a taste.

Meanwhile, I’ve further explored my own walk with my own mortality and humanness.

I’ve just shared all this super-personal stuff so that you might glimpse how my personal revelations work, and how closely I work with the Tarot. All of this post was written in stream-of-consciousness, which I perform as an exercise with the Tarot. Most of the time, my thoughts run too fast, but the result is the same answer I would get, as if I were to write it all out.

My headache dulls, in the way that the last rolls of thunder peel off in the distant. Piercing turns to pressure. I stop to stretch and take off my glasses. Past my bed time. Tomorrow, raking and cutting down. Weeding and pruning. Hopefully the aura of my headache is light.

Blessings on all, and goodnight.

Occasional Card of the Day: Page of Wands, Reversed.

Incidentally, Luna began her transit through Sagittarius, today, and dwells in her 20th mansion (about which astrology weekly says: “it helps for the taming of wild beasts, for the strengthening of prisons, it destroys the wealth of societies, it compels a man to come to a certain place”). The phrase “it compels a man to a certain place” especially caught my eye. The Page of Wands, reversed, personifies the shadow side of Sagittarius: blind optimism, tactlessness, restlessness, and frivolity. In an abstract sense, he brings bad news, delivers good news with poor timing, and generally has to eat his words.

When the Page of Wands appears reversed in a spread, we have a hard time owning our full potential. We put off the work we know we need to do, making excuses along the lines of being too busy fulfilling other obligations. We step on other people’s toes, or disregard their feelings entirely in taking an impulsive action.

Today, I overheard a conversation that pretty much sums up the shadow side of Sagittarius, and the characteristics personified by the Page of Wands reversed. A man who runs a catering business was meeting with prospective clients about servicing their wedding, at a local coffee shop I happen to frequent. He began to complain about the business practices of the owner of that coffee shop. He claimed that she sells coffee that is locally roasted, but for a higher cost than what is available at the cafe owned by the roasting company itself. He ended this claim with the question, “Who does that? Why would people come over here to pay more for the same thing that’s over there? I don’t get it.” The truth is, she serves the coffee for fifty cents less per mug fill than what the cafe sells it for. All the other beverage prices are comparable.  So, not only did he give false information, he was potentially affecting the decision of his prospective clients as to whether or not they would visit this coffee shop in the future. It sounded to me as though he was actively discouraging their patronage of the coffee shop. He has an arrangement with the owner of the coffee shop that allows him to have these meetings with clients, sharing a business space with her. So, who openly speaks ill of a person with whom they have an ongoing professional relationship? Who does that?

The Page of Wands in shadow, that’s who.

It also seems like the Page of Wands reversed works to expose unethical actions, like the little kid who finally says out loud: “The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes!” I am reminded of how, today, congressman Lamar Smith, (an author of the SOPA bill), was discovered to have used a photograph on his own web site without crediting the photographer, thus violating the very law he wrote and proposed to congress (see the story at addictinginfo.org).

Have you noticed the Page of Wands reversed at work, today?

Full Moon in Cancer: The Page of Pentacles, Reversed

I pulled a card yesterday (10 Jan), while focusing on the full moon in Cancer. I was a little surprised to see the Page of Pentacles, Reversed: the day I drew this card, as of 04:35 (a.m.) MST, the moon has transited into Leo the full moon energy still remains, basically making it possible to take the sensitive energies exposed by Cancer’s influence, and direct them outward to positively affect your surroundings. I do feel that the Page of Pentacles captures the high sensitivity to emotional upsets that people around me have been experiencing (including myself, who turned out to be on the PMS road).

Traditionally, the Pages represent messengers, students, youths: questioners and seekers after truth. I also see them as travelers, but with less of a destination or quest in mind (like the knights) and more in the sense of running errands or travelling to a new school. The seeker can be working with these energies, embodying traits of the page. Pages also herald events, as well, bringing their respective elemental energies to the seeker. The Golden Dawn pins the Page of Pentacles to the signs Capricorn and Taurus, but I have always associated it with Virgo, relating the Page more to health, diligence, and perseverance than work.

I’ve been picking up on interruptions in people’s work, lately, which ties to Taurus/Capricorn, but the interruptions have been health related. Illnesses have been lurking on the periphery of the Wolf Moon. In a most extreme instance, I attended a funeral of a family friend who past away in her sleep of natural causes, but after many other health complications. Incidentally, Mars has been in its shadow, preparing to go into retrograde at 23 d Virgo on January 24th; Mars retrograde in Virgo can bring the same energy that the Page of Pentacles, Reversed brings to the energy of the Full Moon in Cancer. Combined, what this says to me is that people in general must be sure to resolve difficult feelings within their home and family, and reinforce their sense of safety. For the people who are unable to resolve conflicts at home, or have problems feeling safe where they live, Mars retrograde will push that energy to manifest in the form of a compromised immune.

In other words, if you bottle in your emotions, you’re more likely to get sick. This is generally true, but issues that have been bubbling up during this full moon are especially implicated as fueling further events leading up to the Mars Rx in Virgo. It’s kind of cool how it all fits together.

When the Page of Pentacles shows up reversed, he can be found asleep on the job… money is delayed, work gets shifted in unexpected directions, or you may find yourself in a work-slump. Individual results vary.
On the flip side, anyone can use the energy around this full moon to identify and take steps to begin releasing any negative patterns in how you care for yourself. Maybe you had more arguments with your spouse this full moon on what’s for dinner. You wanted something spicy with coconut and ginger, he wanted something mild with beans and rice. You wanted a pizza, she wanted something with eggs. Individually, what each of you are craving could be pointing to differences in your nutritional needs. It all boils down to knowing yourself.
This energy manifested in a very real way; last Friday, I came down with a 12-hour stomach flu, which I think was triggered by a combination of a lapse  in diet, combined with my current diet being drastically different from the normal “winter holiday” fare (lots of white sugar/meat/white flour). The Page reversed, by the way, has gotten so caught up in achieving perfection, that he’s begun to neglect his hunger, his need for changes in routine, and perhaps other ways that maintain his health.

In any case, those are my thoughts, and here’s a picture.

 

 

The Occasional Card of the Day: The Six of Cups, Reversed.

I’ve been working on memorizing and polishing a layout: The Zodiac Wheel of the Year. Each card represents a house and potentially a sun’s transit of each sign, in the year. The card in the middle signifies the overall theme of the year, the focal point of the cycle – this can also represent the 13th Moon.

Part of the reason this works so well is because the Tarot cards each have an astrological significance: a planet, sign, or simply an element rules each card (sometimes planets and signs jointly preside over a card). As I have been working more with this spread, I am becoming more familiar with the astrological significance of each card, including today’s card, the Six of Cups.

The Six of Cups is related to the Sun and Scorpio (according to the Order of the Golden Dawn attributions); in that context, this card becomes all about exposing hidden emotions and restoring balance in relationships, especially through recalling childhood connections and affections. When reversed, old relationships return to play a new role in your life. You are easily able to recognize patterns in your relationships, and either celebrate them or release them.

I had a relationship that crashed and burned a few years ago. I was best friends with a girl for over half my life; we grew up into women together. Then, suddenly, I found myself unable to be in the same room comfortably with her, and found her more or less disinterested in me. I felt judged by her all the time, because I knew how her mind worked and I knew her opinions of  my habits. Instead of communicating with her directly about her scrutiny, I let the tensions build and build until I moved away from the city where we both lived at the time, back to the city where we attended college together. A sort of climax occurred when I got married, and a lot of dissonance entered our personal interactions involving my wedding plans, but mostly the conflict went unadressed. After one really awkward conversation right before I moved back to Logan, we stopped talking for nearly two years. Upon my return to Utah, I was faced with all the old memories we had shared. The church we had attended together, the houses we rented (one of which I pass by on a regular basis), and mutual friends greeted me and I got to develop a new relationship with them, on my own terms. I realized that I had based a lot of my life and personal decisions on what I thought her opinion was of me and what was best for me: whether to conform to those opinions, or to rebel. Many of my impressions were correct, which on a lot of levels makes the reparation process more difficult. Now, she has expressed a simple disinterest in me as a person, and I have pursued some kind of closure, but haven’t been able to decide whether I wish to transform my relationship with her, or whether I just want to leave her behind and move on completely. On some level, I think she gave all of what she had to give in the moment, and I rejected that because I felt it wasn’t constructive for me, and so now she has given up altogether. Last winter solstice, we had a heart to heart, and realized that probably 99% of our frustration in the relationship involved reading too much into each others’ words and actions, and not talking enough about our own feelings. We had grown into each other’s heads too much to take a step back.

I still haven’t figured out the reasons behind all my complicated feelings to do with her, but I have learned a lot about mistakes I made, and how I want to approach my relationships from here on. I often lack the courage to keep in touch with her, knowing that I tend to anticipate her judgement of me, knowing that it’s not fair of me to do so; also knowing that she’s in probably 90% disagreement with my parenting strategies. I have learned that it is hard for me to be around someone who not only disagrees with me, but thinks I should be doing things their way. As a Libra with a Cancer ascendant (and I think my Aquarius moon comes into play, here, too), it’s important for me that my close friends share my core values. We can differ on the execution, but for me to fully relate to someone, they have to have certain priorities. I like just about everyone I meet just fine, but I don’t tend to have very intimate relationships with people I interact with on the surface. Few of my closest friends spanning ten years ago share these core values. I can’t imagine a casual relationship with this formerly close friend, after bonding with her so deeply. Since the 6 of Cups Rx called this relationship to mind, perhaps it can offer some guidance.

Under the 6 of Cups’ Rx influence, you may feel the need to make reparations for damage to others in the past. You are also likely to identify harmful behavioral patterns you have engaged in with old relationships. This card reminds us that now is always the time to release grudges and accept healing energy into your life. Any reversal gives us a chance to make amends for past missteps in our friendships. Those amends may not take the form of direct restoration, but may come in the form of a second chance in another relationship. Re-examine the person you were then, compared to who you are now, and see the ways in which your past experiences were necessary for the growth that led you to your present place. Love heals all wounds. In the area of health, it can indicate emotional outbursts stemming from hormonal imbalances.

Card of the Day: The High Priestess, Reversed

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The High Priestess guards the hidden wisdom of the cosmos. The keys to all secrets unknowable, unfathomable, ineffable, she holds in her hand in the form of the scroll, the TORA.

Traditional reversed meanings indicate a loss of spiritual direction, doubt, searching without finding answers, or relying too much on what other people think, do, and say for validation. She offers encouragement to turn within for the answers, to rely on your own hidden strength in your personal connection to the Divine to guide you. This inner connection is different than the Ego – the true Divine Connection always emphasizes service to others, humility, a willingness to learn new things, along with encouragement to face our fears directly. When the High Priestess is reversed, she reminds us to listen carefully and not be swept away in focusing on criticism from others.

Since these card of the day readings apply to people who read this blog, including myself, I want to say, WOW, has this been a theme in my life, lately. I have been exploring all sorts of different boundaries within me and all around me.  I have been confronting the Truth as it is revealed within myself and have been faced with various reactions from other people. It feels sometimes as though the more comfortable I become with myself, the more uncomfortable some other people around me become.

I received a very empowering dream that affirmed to me that I am on the right path, doing true work.

I have been navigating new circumstances in terms of boundaries that have been uncomfortable, but necessary to acknowledge as Hazel grows.

Expect to receive strong messages from your Intuition that may visibly contradict actions that are acceptable to the status quo. Be open to seeking out new experiences if your current experiences are not what you want from reality. That goes for relationships, too. Trust your Inner Guidance to show you the way to Understanding.

Where has the High Priestess been turning up in your life, lately?