I’ve been working on memorizing and polishing a layout: The Zodiac Wheel of the Year. Each card represents a house and potentially a sun’s transit of each sign, in the year. The card in the middle signifies the overall theme of the year, the focal point of the cycle – this can also represent the 13th Moon.
Part of the reason this works so well is because the Tarot cards each have an astrological significance: a planet, sign, or simply an element rules each card (sometimes planets and signs jointly preside over a card). As I have been working more with this spread, I am becoming more familiar with the astrological significance of each card, including today’s card, the Six of Cups.
The Six of Cups is related to the Sun and Scorpio (according to the Order of the Golden Dawn attributions); in that context, this card becomes all about exposing hidden emotions and restoring balance in relationships, especially through recalling childhood connections and affections. When reversed, old relationships return to play a new role in your life. You are easily able to recognize patterns in your relationships, and either celebrate them or release them.
I had a relationship that crashed and burned a few years ago. I was best friends with a girl for over half my life; we grew up into women together. Then, suddenly, I found myself unable to be in the same room comfortably with her, and found her more or less disinterested in me. I felt judged by her all the time, because I knew how her mind worked and I knew her opinions of my habits. Instead of communicating with her directly about her scrutiny, I let the tensions build and build until I moved away from the city where we both lived at the time, back to the city where we attended college together. A sort of climax occurred when I got married, and a lot of dissonance entered our personal interactions involving my wedding plans, but mostly the conflict went unadressed. After one really awkward conversation right before I moved back to Logan, we stopped talking for nearly two years. Upon my return to Utah, I was faced with all the old memories we had shared. The church we had attended together, the houses we rented (one of which I pass by on a regular basis), and mutual friends greeted me and I got to develop a new relationship with them, on my own terms. I realized that I had based a lot of my life and personal decisions on what I thought her opinion was of me and what was best for me: whether to conform to those opinions, or to rebel. Many of my impressions were correct, which on a lot of levels makes the reparation process more difficult. Now, she has expressed a simple disinterest in me as a person, and I have pursued some kind of closure, but haven’t been able to decide whether I wish to transform my relationship with her, or whether I just want to leave her behind and move on completely. On some level, I think she gave all of what she had to give in the moment, and I rejected that because I felt it wasn’t constructive for me, and so now she has given up altogether. Last winter solstice, we had a heart to heart, and realized that probably 99% of our frustration in the relationship involved reading too much into each others’ words and actions, and not talking enough about our own feelings. We had grown into each other’s heads too much to take a step back.
I still haven’t figured out the reasons behind all my complicated feelings to do with her, but I have learned a lot about mistakes I made, and how I want to approach my relationships from here on. I often lack the courage to keep in touch with her, knowing that I tend to anticipate her judgement of me, knowing that it’s not fair of me to do so; also knowing that she’s in probably 90% disagreement with my parenting strategies. I have learned that it is hard for me to be around someone who not only disagrees with me, but thinks I should be doing things their way. As a Libra with a Cancer ascendant (and I think my Aquarius moon comes into play, here, too), it’s important for me that my close friends share my core values. We can differ on the execution, but for me to fully relate to someone, they have to have certain priorities. I like just about everyone I meet just fine, but I don’t tend to have very intimate relationships with people I interact with on the surface. Few of my closest friends spanning ten years ago share these core values. I can’t imagine a casual relationship with this formerly close friend, after bonding with her so deeply. Since the 6 of Cups Rx called this relationship to mind, perhaps it can offer some guidance.
Under the 6 of Cups’ Rx influence, you may feel the need to make reparations for damage to others in the past. You are also likely to identify harmful behavioral patterns you have engaged in with old relationships. This card reminds us that now is always the time to release grudges and accept healing energy into your life. Any reversal gives us a chance to make amends for past missteps in our friendships. Those amends may not take the form of direct restoration, but may come in the form of a second chance in another relationship. Re-examine the person you were then, compared to who you are now, and see the ways in which your past experiences were necessary for the growth that led you to your present place. Love heals all wounds. In the area of health, it can indicate emotional outbursts stemming from hormonal imbalances.