The first time I read the cards for my husband, he wasn’t my husband yet. He had just begun to fall in love with me, and I was already putting up a fight against the notion that he could possibly be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. At that time, I reassured myself I would soon find and marry the man who I dreamed would bring out the best in me, but my dream did not align with the person falling for me before my eyes, with every word I spoke, as though I cast a spell on him. I will not count the ways he differed from my vision of the perfect husband, but I will say I kept myself from falling in love with him by faultfinding and simply closing my heart to him. He saw me for who I was and accepted me; a recognition fired between our souls, something people search for over decades and sometimes never open themselves up to at the same time. I kept telling myself he was just another guy who had fallen for me, and I was just his way of filling the hole in his spirit. No matter how many times I told myself that, it didn’t feel right.
The first reading I gave him pointed to me as changing his life. I tried to say the cards referred to someone else, another Queen of Wands who would light the fire of achievement in him and help him reach his full potential in life, but not me. He knew I was bluffing. If I had been entirely honest to him and myself, I would have thrown down my emotional armor then and there to leap into his arms.
A year and a half after this reading, my subconscious mind finally sent me the clearest message; I dreamed about my husband three nights in a row.
He wasn’t the first person I had a sense of presence with, but he is the first I ever dreamed about in that way. He’s not going to be the last person I fall in love with, but he’s the only person I have found so far that I can see myself growing old with. His love is the sweetest because we have continuous moments of recognizing our higher selves in each other, when our minds fall away and we bask in each other’s presence. Our relationship only becomes stronger as we share this presence with other people and fall in love with the world around us.
Have you ever felt another person’s true presence, where the chatterings of the mind fall away, and you look into each other’s eyes and see the awareness within them, and you feel they are sensing the awareness within you?